no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Sext me about skeletons
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
