I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
