I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
