If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My vagina is very pro this idea
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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