I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
