I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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