I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
