just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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