You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
