went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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