I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
