everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
