hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
