Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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