I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
