just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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