Can Purell be used as lube?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
