he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Every concussion has its silver lining
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
