I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
