Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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