You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
