Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
