Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
