today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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