Don't you send me to vm
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
