does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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