we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
