So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
