I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
