I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
