the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
