I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm always down for nudity.
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