if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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