I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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