Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
