so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
