Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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