i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
