I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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