My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
