it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
