so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
