There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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