I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
