sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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