why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
