i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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