The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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