what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
