Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
